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Rachel Zamore

Certified Discernment Counselor · 20+ Years Working with Couples & Individuals · Certified in EFT Couples Therapy · Extensive Training in IFS & Somatic Approaches

Rachel speaks with podcast hosts, conference audiences, professional groups and journalists about relationships at a crossroads, divorce decision-making, and making big life decisions from the inside out. Her style has been described as engaging, dynamic, highly informative and easily accessible, and she has a gift for making hard conversations feel human. She'd be delighted to connect with you and your audience.

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Each topic can be shaped into a podcast conversation, keynote or training.

For Lay Audiences

Conversations for anyone at a turning point in their marriage or their life: how to decide with clarity and confidence, get out of limbo, and choose a path they can feel at peace with.

Relationships at a crossroads

For those who are ambivalently married, considering divorce, being faced with an unwanted potential divorce, or simply unsure how to deal with a marriage on the brink:

Stay unhappy or leave? Is there a third path? Why those aren't the only two options, and how to tell problems that may be resolvable from ones that may not be.
Leaning in, leaning out. What to do when one of you wants to save the marriage and the other isn't sure — how to find your way forward with intention & integrity.
Do's and don'ts when you're considering divorce. Why big decisions made in the middle of upset often lead to regret, and how the story we tell about our marriage can quietly harden. Helpful tips for when divorce is on the table.
Who to talk to when your marriage is on the line. Choosing confidants who help you think rather than push you toward an answer. Getting support when the stakes are high.
Why couples therapy might be the worst thing for your marriage right now. Couples therapy vs discernment counseling: what each is for, and how to know what you need.
Getting out of relationship limbo. For the ambivalently married: how to get unstuck without forcing a decision before you're ready.

Decision-making and life recalibration

Drawn from the heart of discernment work, these conversations are for anyone at a turning point or wanting to make sure they're living an aligned, vibrant life — in a marriage or otherwise:

Reactive vs. reflective decision-making. How to make big choices from a grounded place, rather than in the grip of fear, anger or exhaustion.
Which you is doing the choosing? Sorting your own voice from the inner chorus and coming home to your best self before you decide.
When there's no right answer. What to do when your options aren't better or worse, just different, and how to get out of paralysis to a place of greater freedom
Permission slips. What would need to be true for you to give yourself permission to leave, or permission to fully reinvest?
Living in limbo (really living, not just waiting). How to stay present and alive in a season of not knowing.
The price of choosing. Every path has a cost. Grieving what you don't choose so you can commit to what you do.
Finding your 'yes'. Getting back in touch with deep inner knowing so you can figure out who you are now, what helps you feel alive and whole, and what's calling you forward in this next chapter of living.

For Professional Audiences

Practical, compassionate tools for therapists, coaches and divorce professionals working with ambivalent clients, from reading exit talk to knowing when, and where, to refer.

Therapists and coaches

In or Out: discernment counseling for couples at the crossroads. An introduction to the model: who it's for, how it works, and when to refer.
When couples therapy isn't the right first move. Recognizing mixed-agenda couples, and knowing when couples work is exactly right.
Poetry or plan? How to hear the difference between a client venting about leaving and a client who is actually on the way out.
Staying curious when you only hear one side. How therapists can gently drift into a client's version of the marriage, and how to help the story open back up when it gets stuck.
Parts on both sides of the fence. An IFS-informed lens on ambivalence: the parts that want to stay and the parts that want to go.
Brief interventions for couples on the brink. What helps when one partner is leaning out and the clock feels like it's running.

Mediators & divorce professionals

Identifying and responding to divorce ambivalence in your law or mediation practice. Recognizing when a client is less certain than their filing suggests, and how to respond without overstepping.
When the road to divorce needs an off-ramp (or at least a rest stop). Practical ways to slow things down for clients who aren't sure, and where to send them.
Preventing unnecessary divorce: what's our role? How professionals can make room for reflection while fully respecting a client's right to decide.
How to talk with clients about divorce ambivalence. Language for the moments when a client shares uncertainty, and doing your part to help prevent premature divorce decisions (and build trust and referrals in the process).

Formats: podcast, radio & print journalism interviews · conference keynotes and breakouts · workshops and trainings for therapists, mediators and family law professionals · talks for retreats and community groups.

About Rachel

Rachel Zamore is a seasoned couples therapist and the first person ever certified as a Discernment Counselor, personally trained and mentored by Dr. Bill Doherty, who developed the model. She is passionate about helping people make thoughtful, grounded decisions when the future of a marriage feels uncertain, and about helping them come home to the best in themselves so they can meet life’s most challenging moments with more confidence, clarity and ease. She helps untangle the chaos so people can get unstuck — out of limbo and moving toward a future they feel excited to meet.

Rachel is also certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and has deep roots in somatic psychotherapy and Internal Family Systems (parts work). Through her coaching practice she works with individuals and couples all over the country, and she loves teaching and speaking to help people find their way forward with intention, integrity and aliveness. She has spoken at marriage and family therapy conferences, presented to divorce mediators on divorce ambivalence, and guest lectured for marriage and family therapy students at several graduate programs. Her insights have been featured in The Wall Street Journal and on Southern California Public Radio.